Couples counseling

What is couples therapy?

Couple therapy is a form of counseling that specifically focuses on the needs of couples. It provides professional support for couples seeking help in dealing with issues in their relationship. Through psychological interventions and techniques, communication, conflict resolution, and understanding are improved to achieve a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.

The main goal of couple therapy is to enhance the relationship between partners and strengthen their bond. Therapists work with couples to recognize and change communication patterns, resolve conflicts, build trust, and develop shared goals. There are various approaches in couple therapy, including Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, Systemic Therapy, and Behavioral Therapy, which are applied based on the individual needs and goals of the couple.

Even for couples who decide to separate, couple therapy can be a helpful support. It can assist in facilitating the separation process, clarifying the reasons for separation, and maintaining healthy communication. Couple therapy can help couples better cope with the transition from partnership to separation and receive emotional support. Through the therapeutic space, they can also explore their personal needs and goals after the separation and maintain a respectful approach, especially when children are involved.

Couple therapy provides a safe and supportive environment where couples can openly address and overcome their relationship problems. Through the therapeutic process, couples can learn to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts constructively, and deepen their bond. Couple therapy can help promote understanding, intimacy, and growth in the relationship, leading to long-term changes that result in a happier and healthier partnership.

What happens in couples counseling?

During the sessions, various therapeutic techniques and interventions are used to improve communication, address conflicts, and strengthen the bond. The therapist acts as a neutral mediator, supporting the partners in expressing their emotions and needs and considering alternative perspectives. The couple is encouraged to work together on solutions and develop new behavioral patterns to create a healthier relationship. A good couple therapist enables breaking the familiar communication patterns.

Topics for Couples

Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships refer to those where one partner controls, manipulates, or humiliates the other. Such behaviors suggest that the relationship is one-sided and harmful to one partner. Metaphorically, toxic is understood as "poison" for mental health. Similar to a physiological toxin, the toxic effects may not be immediately noticeable. Reflecting on the dynamics of the relationship is, therefore, an essential part of coexistence.

Control and Jealousy

One partner seeks to restrict the contacts and freedom of movement of the other. They exhibit strong jealous behavior that limits the autonomy of the partner. Dignity and equality are at risk here, aspects that should receive attention throughout any relationship. Do both partners have an equal position?

Manipulation and Gaslighting

One partner attempts to manipulate the other's perception through lies and distortion of facts. This undermines the partner's judgment or self-confidence (often evident in thoughts like "my feelings must be wrong"). This form of influence can be considered a subtle form of violence.

Belittlement and Humiliation

Derogatory remarks about the partner's appearance or behavior indicate a lack of respect and can damage the partner's self-esteem. Repeated humiliation or belittlement can contribute to depression or anxiety disorders.

Dependency

Despite negative experiences, strong emotional dependence on the manipulative partner may develop. This paradox contributes to people staying in unfulfilling or even highly stressful relationships for extended periods. In these cases, seeking help is particularly important.

Conclusion on Toxic Relationships

In summary, certain behaviors such as control, manipulation, and belittlement may indicate a disturbed interpersonal dynamic. There are communication patterns such as the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse that can be used as indicators of unsuccessful relationships. It is worth reflecting on these communication patterns and, if necessary, seeking an external perspective through couples therapy.

There should be no rush to assign blame. Often, both sides contribute to the relationship dynamic. A clear designation as "perpetrator" and "victim" is usually part of the problem. The perception of both partners can significantly differ and requires a hearing and acknowledgment. If a relationship is to continue, these processes are crucial. People can evolve, and awareness of the roles one has taken in a partnership can be fostered. This opens up the possibility for change and development.

When perceived toxic patterns arise in a relationship, it is advisable to seek couples therapy. Such events are always opportunities for learning and require processing to maintain personal mental health and keep the relationship alive. Enduring crises as a couple may seem challenging in today's time, but these are shared developmental phases that, once overcome, strengthen the relationship and make it even more valuable.

Questions & Answers